The Subtle Art of forming Healthy Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are complicated, more of a journey filled with so many bumps in the road. It takes both the partners to form a healthy relationship. It ain’t a one-way street where only one partner keeps on sacrificing & putting efforts for the relationship, whereas the other partner cares so little. It does not work this way.

Just like flowers need water and sunlight in order to blossom, romantic relationships need to be nurtured and nourished with love & care as well. 

A relationship can’t survive and flourish on its own. Both the partners need to work to keep the spark alive in the relationship. Let us understand how a healthy relationship can be formed in order to foster a deep and loving relationship between two people:-

• Trust – Both the partners should trust each other in what they do, where they go, and with whom they make connections with. It’s one thing to be cautious about things, and it is an entire different thing to be suspicious about everything. Avoid blind trust, but at the same time unnecessary doubts and projecting paranoia will only poison the relationship. 

• Respect – Both the partners should respect each other, and understand each other’s dreams, desires, wishes, and boundaries.  They should not abuse each other, be it verbally or physically. It is important to value each other as an individual. 

• Honesty and Loyalty – Be honest with each other about everything. Honesty is the key to build & strengthen trust in a relationship. Stay loyal and faithful to your partner. It makes the relationship strong. Trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect are the foundations of any relationship. 

• Adjustments & Compromises – In a romantic relationship, both the partners need to understand that in spite of their personal preferences, likes and dislikes, they can’t get everything their way all the time. Both should acknowledge each other’s different viewpoints, and then make efforts to settle on a middle path to any arising problem. Both the partners should follow the “give and take” criteria to avoid superfluous conflicts. Reasonable adjustments and compromises are essential aspects of any relationship. 

• Personal Identity (Individuality) – In spite of being together in a relationship, both the partners have their personal identity first as a human being. One’s identity should never be based on his/her partner – being dependent on your partner for your own happiness should be avoided. Although reasonable adjustments & compromises are important in the relationship, but none of the partners should compromise on their individuality. Both the partners should give time to their personal life as well, including their friends, hobbies, habits for their personal growth, and the things that they both love to do. They should support each other, and accept each others’ varying beliefs & opinions. If you both have a common goal or hobby, you can enjoy it together. Avoid being possessive and clingy, and respect each others’ personal space. Have self-confidence – be confident in who you are, voice your opinions strongly. Apart from your partner, having self-confidence will help you in forming healthy relationships with your friends, family, peers, and colleagues. 

• Anger Management – We all get angry depending on various reasons, situations, circumstances, and our own nature. But, how we express or manage it can have a huge effect on our relationships with other people. You can either snap at something or someone, or you can handle it maturely – the choice is yours!  But remember, acting out in fury will only aggravate your relations with your partner, which will make you feel repentant in the end. Put efforts to handle your anger in healthy ways such as do deep breathing, count 1 to 10, remain calm at the moment and think about the consequences of shouting out in anger, or get aside when the situation is heated and then communicate later with your partner in a rational way. 

• Good and Healthy Communication – A healthy communication between two people is a MUST in a relationship. Miscommunication or lack of communication can cause unwanted hindrances and complications in a relationship. In order to avoid this, both the partners should communicate openly and pour out their heart & soul to each other. Never keep your feelings and emotions buried down – if something is bothering you, express it by talking to your partner, and the other partner should respect it and listen to his/her partner calmly & open-mindedly. Be patient and a good listener. Emotional vulnerability is vital in a romantic relationship – to be an open book to each other creates a better understanding between both the partners. If one partner is sharing his/her feelings, then the other partner should not dismiss them by assuming that his/her partner is simply over-reacting. If such thing happens constantly, then lack of communication and distance is created between the partners. 

• Fair Fight – Every relationship has fights, but it is in your hands how you choose to fight. Fair fighting does not turn a relationship into a toxic one. Converse only about the issue on the table in order to come up with an agreeable solution. Work on the obstacles and disagreements in the relationship – do not toss them away. Do not insult, abuse, or get violent while having a fight. If the conversation gets too heated to handle, both the partners should give each other some time and space away from each other in order to calm down. 

• Understanding, Appreciation, and Attention – Understand each other’s emotions, feelings, beliefs & opinions, desires, dreams, nature, behaviour patterns, and problems, and support each other accordingly. Give each other ample amount of time and attention – have deep talks to truly know each other, plan out dates to spend quality time, and put efforts to surprise each other from time to time. Simple, small & sweet gestures keep the relationship alive. Pay attention to what & how your partner is feeling, and what he/she wants to say to you. It is essential to observe towards where your relationship is heading. Appreciate each other for putting efforts, for making adjustments and compromises etc. Make each other feel loved and appreciated. Be there for each other during good and tough times. 

• Compassion and Forgiveness – It is normal for human beings to make mistakes. In a romantic relationship, both the partners should admit their mistakes and work on it. On the other hand, being compassionate and forgiving are essential elements of a romantic relationship. 

• Being a role model – There is a saying that “if you desire something from the other person, then be that person first”. In order to form a healthy romantic relationship, both the partners should encourage and motivate each other to fulfil their dreams, to work on themselves in order to evolve as a better person day by day. Healthy relationships help both the partners to grow together. Be the person to inspire your partner and other people as well. 

• Healthy Sexual relationship – Explore each others’ sexual desires & fantasies, and rekindle the spark & passion in your relationship. You can go “Fifty Shades of Grey” to spice up things in bed, but respect each others’ boundaries as well. Do not force or pressurize each other to engage into something that is out of your partner’s comfort zone. Having consent of your partner for any physical and sexual activity is a MUST.

So, these are some ways through which you can make your romantic relationship healthy, happy and loving! 

Psychologists as mental health care providers plays a major role in understanding biological, behavioural and social factors that influences mental health and physical wellbeing. Dr. (Prof) R K Suri, Senior Clinical Psychologist at Psychowellness Center ( https://www.psychowellnesscenter.com/ ), is a trained professional clinical psychologist, having more than 36 years of experience in all kinds of mental health issues and related therapeutic interventions. 

Furthermore, TalkToAngel ( http://www.talktoangel.com/ ) online mental health services under him put your needs first. They can help you with flexible appointments, personalized and customized intervention plans all at the tip of your fingers.