Anger is an emotion and we feel it when something goes wrong. We want the things to go in a way we like , if the situation is opposite then we dislike it and feel angry. There is much gap between like and dislike. If the things are inclined towards “like” then anger is lesser as compare to the situation when things are inclined towards “dislike”.
Do you feel angry? Then how much ? It depends upon the position of the situation between like and dislike feeling. These are the basic conditions but not true in every situation because many times we feel angry because of workload, physical health condition, something is going wrong with someone other etc, says Dr. R.K. Suri best psychologist in west delhi. There can be various reasons.
Anger can be characterized by various feelings i.e. frustration, disappointment, irritation, stress etc.
What triggers my anger :
Lets continue with the earlier discussion. When the event/situation is inclined more towards the “like” feeling and slowly or suddenly its going towards dislike feeling then because of change in situation it triggers the anger.
There are various examples.
If I am angry with one person or group of people because of some kind of behavior and they continue such behavior then it triggers the anger.
If I feel irritation because of a thing and it continues to increase I get angry.
When I have a point of view and someone else has different point of view and we both continue debate just to prove ourselves right then both the parties feel irritation and anger.
When the things are out of my control i.e. We can not change the family decision about something, not able to deny boss for something, environmental and health conditions, I get angry
There can be so many things which can trigger anger but the common thing is to understand the anger, control the anger and manage the anger.
The feeling of being angry can be sometimes positive or sometimes negative. If we take such feeling as motivation then it can be fruitful. Sometimes we just want to create some anger inside just to put more energy in doing something. When we feel angry then energy level rises in our body but it increases blood pressure and muscle tension and can become the reason for many changes inside our body which might harm us physically and mentally.
To control or manage the anger ,the first step is to identify the anger. It is not same in everyone. When irritation or dislike feeling because of something is increasing than it is going to create anger. Anger is going to make changes in our mind and body. It can become the reason of raised voice, screaming, using bad language, clenched jaw, change in hands movement. In such conditions, chances of hurting someone mentally or physically are higher. It is not compulsory that we hurt/harm others in such conditions , sometimes we hurt/harm ourselves also. Sometimes we also harm other living creatures and sometimes we break the things which causes monetary loss.
We have our own expectation for various things and when we get unexpected results then it causes disappointment and disappointment becomes the reason of change in emotions which makes us angry. So first law is to keep less expectations on others and being motivated to do best what we can do.
Loving other creatures is other direct method of feeling good or ok without getting any medication. Love keeps us healing which improves the losses created by anger inside and outside our body.
Energy is so much high when we feel angry so try to stay calm for a while can be a better way to control the anger because anger becomes the reason of taking instant decision so being calm and quiet helps in decision making.
I take several timeouts during the day just to become relax because it creates positive energy inside me to fight bad feelings.
When debate is going long just to prove that my thinking is right thinking then its better to become quite and listen to others point of view as they might be right or there are various situations where we both can be right thinking person because of our different background and different way of thinking.
Physical activity can help to reduce stress that can cause to become angry.
One of the most practical method which is helpful in reducing stress and anger is to do meditation. Meditation makes us calm and allows our mind to rest for a while and then thinks in a positive way for the solutions.