How to resolve and manage conflicts in a relationship?

Anyone who has been in a romantic relationship knows that fights and disagreements are a part of it. When two persons are in a love relationship or are bound together and spend a lot of time together, they disagree with each other from time to time. These fights and disagreements may be small or big in nature but how they dealt with matters a lot. Every relationship has conflicts because no two people are same in their nature and desires are also different.

Sometimes it happens that the disagreement is so deep that they make the relationship sour. When the disagreements and problems are not addressed properly, they may turn into big ones. They can also hinder your health and longevity of the problem.

The Most Common Causes of Conflicts in A Romantic Relationships

You can only resolve a problem when you know about the root cause of the problem. Relationship struggles are found in almost every relationship at some point of time. Some common causes behind these conflicts are:

  1. Co-dependency of the partners on each other may lead to unhealthy relationship.
  2. One or both the partners may have lost interest in themselves.
  3. Ignored mental health or physical health from one side which may result in one sided relation also.
  4. When the partners are emotionally disconnected from each other.
  5. When there are some family issues and they are handling them separately like handling a child who is a drug addict.
  6. When you are addicted to either drugs or alcohol or some other thing like gambling or porn.

Resolving and Managing Conflicts In A Relationship

The fact is that some relationships are worth saving because there are a lot of adjustments and commitments in that while some are not worth saving because there are only compromises in it. There are signs that a relationship is worth saving. They are:

  1. The thought of leaving each other may shake you internally.
  2. You may just be mad about the things which were wrong.
  3. You may still enjoy the time which you spend together.
  4. Your problems may not be related to your relationship but some other.
  5. Breaking the relation comes to your mind only when you both become angry with each other.

Signs that a relationship is not worth saving are:

  1. When the relationship is physically or mentally abusive relationship.
  2. When you don’t want to communicate anymore with each other.
  3. One or both the partners may feel lonely even when they are together under one roof.
  4. When there is a lack of mutual respect for each other.

TalktoAngel(www.talktoangel.com) an online mental health platform for relationship counseling or marital counselling in India catering to Indian people globally. Dr(Prof) R K Suri Founder Psychowellness Center(www.psychowellnesscenter.com) gives the suggestions for managing relationship challenges.

Best ways to resolve the conflict in the relationship are:

  1. Get frank with each other: Opening up and being honest in a relationship is quite difficult, especially when the feelings are negative in nature. It’s hard to express how you have felt when the other partner had hurt you. But being honest with your partner will increase love and decrease misunderstanding between each other.
  2. Try discussing without blaming: Try to discuss every disagreement without the blame game. Don’t use statements which are negative in nature as they will directly point out to the character of the partner in a negative way and it will ruin your relationship in a much deeper way. Let them know about how their behavior made you feel or what kind of a specific behavior they are having, so that they can change themselves.
  3. Try practicing mindful listening: When one partner feels that the other is not listening to them actively. They may feel ignored. You have to show your partner that they are being actively listened to. Try active listening techniques.
  4. Set your boundaries: Treat your partner in a positive way, with respect and that too with limitations and boundaries. Although setting up boundaries take courage and self worth. Try making it safe for your partner and make sure that they are respected all the time.
  5. Explanations should be simple and try giving a chance to your partner to respond: Make your explanations as simple as possible and give a chance to your partner also to respond for what they had done. Have honesty in your relationship because if you are honest with your partner regarding the small things, then only you will be able to have a positive relationship with your partner.
  6. Talk about how you feel without accusing your partner: It is a known fact that attacking your partner’s character can be particularly harming to a relationship. (1) Researches has demonstrated that for couples with generally minor issues, accusing and dismissing one’s partner during a contention conversation was related with lower relationship fulfillment after some time and would in general aggravate issues.
  7. Don’t impulsively object to partners complaints: The immediately objecting to the complaints is often using the defensive approach, avoid “No butting” and “cross complaining”.
  8. Don’t exhibit Contempt to partner: The contempt is most obvious reason of disrespect in relationship.
  9. Take different perspective:  Should use an objective rational approach to partners perspective and put your different perspective logically.
  10. Avoid becoming overwhelmed with negativity: The negativity should be balance with positivity, it is recommended to have rule of 80:20 in terms of balancing positivity and negativity
  11. Knowing when to timeout. To have a better relationship to have understanding about time out when argument tends to become unhealthy.
  12. Looking for Middle Path: It is always meaningful to identify the middle path when having difference of opinion it provides a comfort, respect, and warmth to each partner.

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