Although it is said that silence is golden but when it is used while communicating with each other it becomes a weapon. Silent treatment is quite unhealthy, especially in a relationship. It acts as a form of emotional abuse when it is used in a romantic relationship. It simply indicates that one person is trying to control and manipulate the other person. It is simply a way in which one person punishes the other and there is no visible bruising for that.
When you are in a heated argument with your partner it is advised, you should not say harsh words so that the argument is not exaggerated. But the silent treatment is when any one of you is not talking to the other partner or does not acknowledge anything and just stop talking to you totally, after an argument. It is a good way to leave an argument but it is very unhealthy if you are giving or facing silent treatment after an argument
The silent treatment is seen by psychologists as a cold way of tackling the issues you are facing. It is seen as the other person is trying to manipulate you and want to punish you for what you have done. This will not help you to find a solution to the issue. If partners are not talking to each other they will never know the reason for anger or disappointment. The silent fight may continue for a day, two, or week but the reasons will not be known. This will only create stress and an unhealthy environment in your life.
This kind of treatment in relationships is quite irritable and you get frustrated. It is a kind of pressure on you that you should give a response and then criticism gets to continue. This kind of behavior is of course not acceptable by either one of them. This is a kind of passive-aggressive treatment. Any of the partners does not deserve this kind of treatment. It also damages the self-esteem of a person if left unaddressed.
How Silent Treatment Affects the Relationship
Using silent treatment for arguments or anger in a relationship is not a healthy and productive way to deal with the issues you are facing with your partner. Researches have said that both men and women use it but communication is important for healthy relationships. With silent treatment couples are not able to solve the conflicts between them in a helpful way.
When one partner wants to talk and the other doesn’t want to talk, it can bring anger and distress to a partner who is facing the silent treatment. People who feel ignored also report a low level of self-esteem, a low level of belongingness and they may also lose their meaning of life.
If a person is quiet to avoid conflict it is a bad approach to deal with the issues. And if the person is not discussing things, this will bring disputes with their partners because when partners are not talking their queries and conflicts are never resolved.
When Silent Treatment Becomes Abuse?
According to Dr. R.K. Suri silent treatment is just to stop yourself from saying abusive words or something bad in a heated argument. But it is an abuse
- When it is occurring frequently
- When it is lasting long
- When you see it coming from a place of punishment
- It often ends when you apologize to your partner
- Your behavior is changed so that you cannot get the same treatment again
- Your partner shouts at you to make you silent
- This is their primary thing to deal with conflicts
- It is used as a punishment tool when you upset them
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